You matter. There is help and there is hope. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call or text 988 immediately. 

Losing someone to suicide is accompanied by heartbreaking and complex forms of grief. It's not just about mourning your loved one; it often comes with feelings of confusion, guilt, anger, and deep sadness. If you’ve lost someone this way, you’re not alone—even though it can feel that way. The important thing to remember? There is hope, and healing is possible.

Complex Grief

Grieving after suicide is often called “complicated grief.” Unlike other forms of loss, suicide can leave loved ones feeling guilty wondering whether they might have done something to prevent it or why their loved one felt like that was their only choice. The emotional rollercoaster can be overwhelming, feeling numb, then angry, then heartbroken, then angry again, and then maybe just exhausted. This rollercoaster of feelings is part of the grief process. As you travel this difficult path, it’s important to remember that the loss is not your fault.

Support systems during this time are not only helpful but crucial. Friends, family, or even a support group of others who’ve lost someone to suicide can help you feel less isolated. Sharing your feelings with others you trust can help you process what has happened and remind you that there are others who understand your pain.

Here are some tips for coping after suicide loss:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel: No matter what you are feeling, your emotions are valid. Healing begins when you allow yourself to feel.

2. Connect with Trusted People: Reach out to a friend, family member, or a grief counselor who you trust to listen without judgement.

3. Join a Support Group: Suicide loss survivor support groups offer a safe place to share your story with others who have similar experiences.  

4. Reach to a Mental Health Professional: Mental health counseling and treatment can help as you experience the complex grief associated with suicide loss. Not only can a mental health professional assist you in processing your emotions, including guilt, but also they can teach you ways to cope.

5. Accept Each Day and What It Brings: Healing and managing complex grief takes time. Some days are hard, the next day pain seems more manageable, then there might be another wave of deep grief. It’s okay to face the emotions that come each day without thinking you should be further along with processing your grief.

Honoring Their Memory

No one really “moves forward” after losing a loved one. This is true when losing someone to suicide as well. However, creating meaningful ways to honor your loved ones memory may help as you continue life with your “new normal.” Celebrating their life by creating a memory box, writing letters, or engaging in activities they love can bring comfort. Remember, not just how their life ended but their entire story defines who they were.

You’re Not Alone

You are not alone. Whether it is connecting with a mental health professional, grief counselors, or friends and loved ones, connect. Connect with others who have experienced similar loss. Connect with professionals who understand complex grief. Connect. Connection is the first step toward healing.

Unsure if you or a friend need help for suicide? Visit BH WELL's flyer defining suicidality and sharing ideas for prevention.

The way we perceive and interpret the world around us has a profound impact on our emotions and behavior. This concept is central to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which highlights the role of thoughts in shaping our actions. Interestingly, a similar principle applies to photography through a technique known as framing, where the way a subject is composed within a photo can dramatically alter its meaning.

Framing in photography involves using natural or man-made elements within a scene to create a "frame" around your main subject. This technique draws the viewer's focus to the subject, enhancing its visual appeal and emotional impact. For example, envision capturing a photo through an intricately carved doorway that acts as a decorative frame, naturally drawing the viewer’s eye toward the scene unfolding in the distance. Alternatively, you might capture the essence of a person by utilizing overhanging branches, vibrant flowers, or a rustic bridge to surround their figure. These elements not only highlight the subject but also add depth and context to the image.

Occupational therapy (OT) plays a vital role in promoting mental health and well-being. By focusing on the relationship between the individual, their environment, and meaningful activities, OT helps individuals experiencing mental health challenges engage in their daily lives in fulfilling ways. The therapeutic process involves helping clients increase activities of daily living performance, develop self-regulation strategies, improve social skills, and increase over-all independence. This holistic approach addresses not just the symptoms of mental illness, but also barriers that may impact the performance of meaningful occupations.

Occupational therapists work with individuals of all ages and those with various mental health challenges, including those dealing with anxiety, depression, PTSD, schizophrenia, bipolar, and drug induced psychosis. For example, an occupational therapist might guide clients in creating routines, identifying enjoyable activities, and breaking down overwhelming tasks into manageable steps, thus reducing stress and anxiety. By addressing functional goals, OT empowers clients to regain independence and improve their quality of life. This kind of therapy has proven beneficial in reducing the recurrence of mental health episodes and enabling sustained recovery.

Research supports the effectiveness of occupational therapy in mental health care. For instance, how OT interventions can significantly improve the functional outcomes and quality of life for individuals with serious mental illnesses, promoting both social integration and well-being. Overall, occupational therapists provide mental health treatment with the goal of increasing client independence which is an integral part of mental health treatment. 

Claudia Robertson is a BH WELL project assistant and an occupational therapy doctoral student. Holly Belcher is an occupational therapist at Eastern State Hospital where she is also a member of their research council.

As a student completing my clinical experiences, I often meet amazing patients who find themselves in difficult circumstances. It is as if they have come face to face with a tornado. This happens often enough that I decided to write a blog about how one might begin to see the tornado for what it is and realize that they get to choose how they will face their difficult circumstances.

Tornadoes arise quickly and often when we least expect them! It is the same thing with difficult circumstances. Whether it’s a health issue or other unexpected circumstances, that tornado can leave us feeling overwhelmed or helpless. During these times, it might seem impossible to find a way to move forward. One thing that seems simple but can help, is choosing to sit with the present circumstance mindfully without judgement. “Okay. That is one large tornado! But I have a supportive family and health providers who are trained to walk alongside me through my challenges.” Reality, the tornado, is acknowledged for what it is while allowing space for self-compassion and acceptance.

Acceptance is acknowledging the situation without resistance. Can you imagine trying to resist, deny, or control a tornado? That would be impossible. It is the same thing with a difficult circumstance. Resisting, denying, or trying to control it may lead to increased emotional suffering. Accepting the tornado, the difficult circumstance, for what it is allows us to shift our focus to “Now what will I choose to do? There’s a tornado. What can I control?” This perspective is empowering because it helps us think of proactive steps we CAN take.  Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help ground us in the present moment, allowing us to deal with negative emotions.

Acceptance of the tornado we are facing can significantly improve our mental well-being. Biehler and colleagues found that people who practice acceptance as a coping mechanism experience less emotional distress and greater resilience when facing difficult situations. Rather than avoid our experiences and emotions, acknowledging the tornado before us creates space to heal and accept the situation. 

Additionally, acceptance of the tornado involves cultivating self-compassion. Life’s tornadoes are typically out of our control. It’s okay to have self-compassion during difficult circumstances. Self-compassion allows us to navigate difficult circumstances and the complex emotions that accompany them. Suffering is a universal experience. Rather than avoiding tornadoes that show up in our lives, understanding them allows us to feel less isolated and more in control of our struggles. Seeking help from health professionals and counselors while gaining support from friends and others going through similar situations can foster a sense of connection and help process emotions associated with difficult circumstances.

 

There is help. There is hope. If you or someone you love is going through a difficult circumstance, contact the Crisis Lifeline at 988 or dial or text #988. 

Losing a parent is one of the most intense, heart-wrenching experiences anyone can face. The grief that follows can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, it may be difficult to know how to navigate life without the presence of someone who played such a significant role. Grief is natural, but how we approach it can shape our healing journey. Allowing ourselves to experience grief in a healthy way is crucial for moving forward while honoring the memory of the parent we’ve lost.

Understand that Grief is a Personal Journey

No two people grieve the same way. Therefore, there is no "right"  way or timeline for mourning. For some, grief may appear in waves—sometimes powerful and intense, other times subtle and distant. This variation is normal. Allowing yourself to feel the ebb and flow of emotions is part of the process. Avoid comparing your grief to others since your unique relationship with your parent will guide your emotional response.

Embrace Your Feelings, Even the Difficult Ones

When grieving, you may experience a mix of emotions: sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. It’s essential to let yourself feel each of these emotions without judgment. Bottling up feelings or denying them can delay healing and intensify the pain. It's okay to cry, scream, or feel lost. Embracing these emotions is part of working through grief in a way that honors both you and your parent. In addition, you are allowed to mourn and grieve after losing a parent in cases where the relationship was unhealthy or with whom you were not in an active relationship. Conflicting feelings experienced after losing a parent where there were complicated relationships are normal. You are allowed to give yourself time and space for self-compassion.

Seek Support but Know Your Limits

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reaching out to friends, family members, or support groups can be incredibly beneficial. Sometimes, simply sharing memories of your parent with others who knew and loved them can provide comfort. However, it's also important to recognize when you need space to process your emotions privately. Striking a balance between seeking support and taking time for yourself is key.

Practice Self-Care and Mindfulness

During grief, it's easy to neglect self-care, but taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial. Grieving can be exhausting, both mentally and physically. Make sure to eat well, sleep, and engage in gentle activities that provide comfort, like taking walks or spending time in nature. Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or journaling, can also help you stay connected to the present while processing difficult emotions.

Honor the Memory of Your Parent

Many find solace in creating rituals or activities that honor the memory of their parent. This could involve lighting a candle, looking through old photos, or celebrating their birthday in a meaningful way. These practices can help keep the connection alive while giving you an outlet to express your feelings and continue your bond in a new form.

Consider Professional Support

Sometimes, the weight of grief can feel too heavy to manage alone. If you find that your emotions are overwhelming or interfering with daily life, seeking the help of a grief counselor or therapist can provide valuable tools for navigating your pain. Professional support can guide you through the healing process, giving you a safe space to express emotions and learn coping strategies.

Grief Doesn't End; It Evolves

Over time, grief doesn’t disappear, but it changes. The intensity may lessen, and the pain can become more bearable as you learn to live with it. The goal of healthy grieving is not to "move on" or forget but to adjust to life without your parent while carrying their memory forward. Healing means finding a way to live with the loss, allowing your love for your parent to shape your future, rather than focusing solely on the pain of their absence.

Final Thoughts

Grieving the loss of a parent is a personal and profound journey. By embracing your emotions, seeking support, practicing self-care, and allowing yourself the time you need to heal, you can experience grief in a healthy way. Remember, grief is not something you need to “get over,” but rather something you learn to live with. Through this process, you honor your parent’s life while also giving yourself permission to heal.