Finding Calm Among the Tornadoes

As a student completing my clinical experiences, I often meet amazing patients who find themselves in difficult circumstances. It is as if they have come face to face with a tornado. This happens often enough that I decided to write a blog about how one might begin to see the tornado for what it is and realize that they get to choose how they will face their difficult circumstances.

Tornadoes arise quickly and often when we least expect them! It is the same thing with difficult circumstances. Whether it’s a health issue or other unexpected circumstances, that tornado can leave us feeling overwhelmed or helpless. During these times, it might seem impossible to find a way to move forward. One thing that seems simple but can help, is choosing to sit with the present circumstance mindfully without judgement. “Okay. That is one large tornado! But I have a supportive family and health providers who are trained to walk alongside me through my challenges.” Reality, the tornado, is acknowledged for what it is while allowing space for self-compassion and acceptance.

Acceptance is acknowledging the situation without resistance. Can you imagine trying to resist, deny, or control a tornado? That would be impossible. It is the same thing with a difficult circumstance. Resisting, denying, or trying to control it may lead to increased emotional suffering. Accepting the tornado, the difficult circumstance, for what it is allows us to shift our focus to “Now what will I choose to do? There’s a tornado. What can I control?” This perspective is empowering because it helps us think of proactive steps we CAN take.  Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help ground us in the present moment, allowing us to deal with negative emotions.

Acceptance of the tornado we are facing can significantly improve our mental well-being. Biehler and colleagues found that people who practice acceptance as a coping mechanism experience less emotional distress and greater resilience when facing difficult situations. Rather than avoid our experiences and emotions, acknowledging the tornado before us creates space to heal and accept the situation. 

Additionally, acceptance of the tornado involves cultivating self-compassion. Life’s tornadoes are typically out of our control. It’s okay to have self-compassion during difficult circumstances. Self-compassion allows us to navigate difficult circumstances and the complex emotions that accompany them. Suffering is a universal experience. Rather than avoiding tornadoes that show up in our lives, understanding them allows us to feel less isolated and more in control of our struggles. Seeking help from health professionals and counselors while gaining support from friends and others going through similar situations can foster a sense of connection and help process emotions associated with difficult circumstances.

 

There is help. There is hope. If you or someone you love is going through a difficult circumstance, contact the Crisis Lifeline at 988 or dial or text #988.