Surviving Suicide Loss and Finding Hope

You matter. There is help and there is hope. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call or text 988 immediately. 

Losing someone to suicide is accompanied by heartbreaking and complex forms of grief. It's not just about mourning your loved one; it often comes with feelings of confusion, guilt, anger, and deep sadness. If you’ve lost someone this way, you’re not alone—even though it can feel that way. The important thing to remember? There is hope, and healing is possible.

Complex Grief

Grieving after suicide is often called “complicated grief.” Unlike other forms of loss, suicide can leave loved ones feeling guilty wondering whether they might have done something to prevent it or why their loved one felt like that was their only choice. The emotional rollercoaster can be overwhelming, feeling numb, then angry, then heartbroken, then angry again, and then maybe just exhausted. This rollercoaster of feelings is part of the grief process. As you travel this difficult path, it’s important to remember that the loss is not your fault.

Support systems during this time are not only helpful but crucial. Friends, family, or even a support group of others who’ve lost someone to suicide can help you feel less isolated. Sharing your feelings with others you trust can help you process what has happened and remind you that there are others who understand your pain.

Here are some tips for coping after suicide loss:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel: No matter what you are feeling, your emotions are valid. Healing begins when you allow yourself to feel.

2. Connect with Trusted People: Reach out to a friend, family member, or a grief counselor who you trust to listen without judgement.

3. Join a Support Group: Suicide loss survivor support groups offer a safe place to share your story with others who have similar experiences.  

4. Reach to a Mental Health Professional: Mental health counseling and treatment can help as you experience the complex grief associated with suicide loss. Not only can a mental health professional assist you in processing your emotions, including guilt, but also they can teach you ways to cope.

5. Accept Each Day and What It Brings: Healing and managing complex grief takes time. Some days are hard, the next day pain seems more manageable, then there might be another wave of deep grief. It’s okay to face the emotions that come each day without thinking you should be further along with processing your grief.

Honoring Their Memory

No one really “moves forward” after losing a loved one. This is true when losing someone to suicide as well. However, creating meaningful ways to honor your loved ones memory may help as you continue life with your “new normal.” Celebrating their life by creating a memory box, writing letters, or engaging in activities they love can bring comfort. Remember, not just how their life ended but their entire story defines who they were.

You’re Not Alone

You are not alone. Whether it is connecting with a mental health professional, grief counselors, or friends and loved ones, connect. Connect with others who have experienced similar loss. Connect with professionals who understand complex grief. Connect. Connection is the first step toward healing.

Unsure if you or a friend need help for suicide? Visit BH WELL's flyer defining suicidality and sharing ideas for prevention.